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Groundviews

Author: Banyan News Reporters

Year
Month
Colombo, Satire

Discovered: A sunken island, an Indian Ocean Atlantis?

Banyan News World Exclusive! : Marine archaeologists have just discovered evidence of a large submerged landmass southeast of Sri Lanka. They believe it could be a legendary lost island closely linked to…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 04/01/200903/21/2009
Jaffna, Satire

President Rajapakse donates monthly salary and ‘malu banis’ to farmers attacked by LTTE

: – Elite black tiger commando units of the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam (LTTE) carried out an attack last night on farmers who may or may not have produced the vegetables…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 03/25/2009
Satire

TASTY CHOCOLATE AIDING TERRORISTS

: Tasty Chocolate Manufacturers Pvt Limited is being investigated for assisting the LTTE’s aerial attack on Colombo on February 20 according to sources within the security forces. More than ten bars of…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 03/17/200903/13/2009
Colombo, Human Rights, Satire

Dial a White Van for a pest-free life!

Baynan News Commercial Dial a White Van for a pest-free life! Coldline: 0666 911 911 Have you just been outsmarted, outwitted or plain debunked by a smart alec academic? Or is that…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 03/12/2009
Human Security, IDPs and Refugees, Jaffna, Peace and Conflict, Satire

Government and LTTE differ on value of life

: Researchers at the Sri Lankan Ministry of Defence and their counterparts at the LTTE Humanitarian Research Institute at Puthukkudiyirippu (formerly based in Kilinochchi and which did not at any time have a…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 02/23/200902/19/2009
Colombo, Satire

LTTE offers tax break to Sri Lankan businesses

– Two Grammy Award winning paper planes of the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Ealam (LTTE) crashed in Colombo last night, killing two people and injuring 58 others according to our sources in…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 02/22/2009
Jaffna, Satire

Sri Lankan government admitted to the proctology ward of General Hospital

: Our sources revealed that the Sri Lankan government was admitted to the proctology ward of the General Hospital in Colombo late last week after it complained about acute abdominal dysfunction. Leading…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 02/16/2009
Jaffna, Satire

Cutting edge scientific research in Sri Lanka

Colombo, Sri Lanka: With the drawn out military campaign against terrorism in its last phase, the Sri Lankan government has taken a decision to divert the country’s defence budget to fund science…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 02/08/2009
Colombo, Media and Communications, Peace and Conflict, Satire

Remote Controllers a threat to National Security

By Banyan News Reporters Colombo, 15 January 2009: The television remote controller poses a serious threat to the country’s national security, the government has determined. A new law will soon be introduced…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 01/28/200902/08/2009

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