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Groundviews

Satire

Year
Month
Fiction / Creative Writing, Satire

Banyan News astrologer analyses planetary event on 26 January 2010

The occult of warrior Mars and royal Jupiter on 26th January will dominate the planetary motions in our heads, guts, backsides and wallets for the next six years. The official Banyan News…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 01/21/2010
Colombo, Fiction / Creative Writing, Satire

Urgent National Security Overhaul in Sri Lanka

– The government in an emergency press briefing today, announced that it will take steps to overhaul the national security strategy of the island. The government defence spokesman, Minister Kokila Bathalahitawanna admitted…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 01/10/2010
Colombo, Fiction / Creative Writing, Satire

Guidance on Star Gazing: Government to set up Advisory Council for Astrologers?

- A special Advisory Council for Astrologers is to be established in the lead up to presidential elections to ensure “consistency” in astrological forecasts, claims a source from the Ministry of Indigenous Sciences…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 01/04/201012/29/2009
Colombo, Fiction / Creative Writing, Satire

Rajapakse: Now the most popular surname in Sri Lanka?

- Banyan News Reporters (BNR) learns from the Registrar of Names that a record number of people in Sri Lanka are requesting a change in their surnames. Over the last few months, the…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 11/18/2009
IDPs and Refugees, Media and Communications, Peace and Conflict, Satire

The Australian and a sardonic cartoon

Picture courtesy of The Australian, 29th October 2009 The above picture was published in the satirical Nicholson cartoon gallery which features in The Australian. The issue of refugees has been covered extensively in both…

Groundviews Groundviews on 10/29/2009
Colombo, Satire

The Beauty of Barbed Wire: Sri Lanka’s cutting edge exhibition

– Banyan News Reporters learns that Sri Lanka will hold the world’s first barbed wire exhibition for 180 days beginning 1st September  at the Bandaranaike Memorial Hall under the auspices of the…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 08/20/200908/20/2009
Colombo, Satire

Illicit drug abuse in Sri Lanka shows clear signs of worsening

– Banyan News Reporters learns that officials investigating wacky behaviour in a large number of Sri Lankans since May this year have uncovered disturbing evidence, indicating that a significant majority of the…

Groundviews Groundviews on 08/13/2009
Colombo, Satire

Another Dangerous, Pervasive Foreign Item Corrupting Innocent Sri Lankan Minds!

An open letter to President Mahinda Rajapaksa, Sri Lanka 28 July 2009 Your Excellency / Your Majesty, We are a group of parents who address this letter to you after much thought…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 07/28/2009
Colombo, Satire

GM Mosquitoes Unleashed in Sri Lanka? Multinational Company’s Involvement Suspected

: Genetically modified (GM) mosquitoes may have been released in the Greater Colombo area this year and can wreak havoc on public health, scientists and activists warn. These mosquitoes are larger in…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 06/01/200908/12/2009
Human Security, IDPs and Refugees, Media and Communications, Peace and Conflict, Politics and Governance, Satire

Breaking news: BNR discovers through CNN poll that International Community undecided on intervening in Sri Lanka

: The International Community is expressing its concern over the deaths of thousands of civilians including at least one hundred children who are caught between the crossfire as fighting raged between the…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 05/12/2009
Colombo, Satire

‘Barefoot Nation’ to revive an ancient tradition?

: The government is considering a proposal to usher in a new ‘barefoot revolution’ in Sri Lanka as part of its philosophy to revive ancient Sinhala traditions. This will see the systematic…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 04/27/200904/20/2009
Satire

Sri Lankan Government orders all MPs into secure camps

: Special security camps, called ‘Government Comfort Centres’ are to be established in order to improve security for Government MPs, according to sources in the Defence sector. Due to fears of LTTE…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 04/20/200904/20/2009
Colombo, Satire

Discovered: A sunken island, an Indian Ocean Atlantis?

Banyan News World Exclusive! : Marine archaeologists have just discovered evidence of a large submerged landmass southeast of Sri Lanka. They believe it could be a legendary lost island closely linked to…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 04/01/200903/21/2009
Jaffna, Satire

President Rajapakse donates monthly salary and ‘malu banis’ to farmers attacked by LTTE

: – Elite black tiger commando units of the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam (LTTE) carried out an attack last night on farmers who may or may not have produced the vegetables…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 03/25/2009
Satire

TASTY CHOCOLATE AIDING TERRORISTS

: Tasty Chocolate Manufacturers Pvt Limited is being investigated for assisting the LTTE’s aerial attack on Colombo on February 20 according to sources within the security forces. More than ten bars of…

Banyan News Reporters Banyan News Reporters on 03/17/200903/13/2009

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