Human Security, IDPs and Refugees, Media and Communications, Peace and Conflict, Politics and Governance, Satire

Breaking news: BNR discovers through CNN poll that International Community undecided on intervening in Sri Lanka

Banyan News Reporters

12 May 2009, Colombo, Sri Lanka: The International Community is expressing its concern over the deaths of thousands of civilians including at least one hundred children who are caught between the crossfire as fighting raged between the Sri Lankan Armed Forces and the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam (LTTE) an internationally proscribed terrorist outfit. In light of the recent developments in the tiny island off the southern tip of India, a recent survey conducted by CNN on whether the International Community should intervene in the conflict has produced an inconclusive and convoluted set of results.

A Brazilian farmer whose coffee beans where brewed at the recent UN security council meeting told CNN that the International Community should intervene to limit Sri Lanka’s Tea exports while in the neighbouring Caribbean island of Jamaika, polers reported that the sky had turned a deep purplish blue and mumbled incomprehensibly.

Further north, a member of the International Community running working for Lockheed Martin in New Mexico, United States said that the International Community should definitely intervene in Sri Lanka to find out whether any of the warring parties have been disadvantaged by the US policy of not providing weapons to Sri Lanka. He emphasised that the use of more sophisticated weapons and munitions instead of the cheep Chinese built weapons and old Soviet machinery being used in the conflict, could minimise collateral damage and arming the civilians is the best way to reduce civilian casualties under the circumstances.

Another member of the International Community in Zambia who was happy that he had outlived the average life expectancy in the country of 38.59 years by a full year and 43 days, thus living as long as any Zimbabwean (other than Robert Mugabe) is expected to live, said he would give moral support to any intervention in Sri Lanka but declined to come himself.

Australians unanimously voted in favour of an International intervention to prevent Muththiah Muralidharan from playing international Cricket, while citizens in Madagascar and Timbuktu remained apathetic.

Members of the International Community in Burma were not allowed by its Military Junta to participate in the poll while citizens of Libya and Iran were strongly encouraged by their governments to vote against any intervention by the International Community in the affairs of a sovereign state.

Members of the International Community in Sri Lanka were themselves undecided about the need for Intervention over civilian deaths. The growing consensus among excise and health officials was that the sale of illicit liquor and the butchering of animals over the Wesak holiday period was a bigger concern.

Nearly a billion members of the International Community were unable to respond to the survey because they were illiterate while another 1.6 billion people did get to know about the survey because they did not have electricity. Tens of thousands of members of the International Community around the world, including over thirty thousand children under the age of 5, died of starvation soon after responding to the survey within the last 24 hours.

  • ahamed

    Elaam nation dream is moving venues and going to establish it self in NORWAY>>> Solehiem can be the priminister…………”99 percent Norway Tamils aspire for Tamil Eelam ” poll conducted by Norway News paper -:

  • Realist

    I think it is a moral obligation on the part of every person to prevent the death of innocent civilians caught up in a war. We condemn th USA for atom bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki and for bombing the German cities. Our nationalist critics of the West condemn such atrocites. But when it comes to our committing similar atrocties we justify them. What would the Buddha have said and done if he were alive today. Wont’ he call upon the GOSL to stop the use of heavy weapons. Wont any moral person demand a stop to such attacks. What if the guilty party doesn’t heed such calls. What is the greater evil -to tolerate the killing of thousands of civilians or to let off the LTTE leaders who believe they are fighting for a just cause. Actually it need not mean letting off the LTTE either if only the GOSL allowed the LTTE to surrender to the UN. It is then the duty of the UN to try them for war crimes.

  • International community has an unequivocal human obligation to intervene as it did in other countries where genocide was carried out.

    Sadam Hussein was hanged about two years ago for killing at least 145 Kurdish civilian citizens in Iraq. The punishment was shown worldwide to remind that such crimes are severely punishable when carried out by any leader of any country.

    In the same week Sadam was hanged, Mahinda Rajapakse and his soldiers killed about 125 Tamil civilian citizens at Vakarai in the Eastern Province, by bombing and shelling indiscriminately. A top UN official was in the area and helplessly watched this massacre.

    Numerous incidents of such massacres and brutality of Tamil civilians have been systematically taking place in the North East(NE) of Sri Lanka(SL) for the past two years. Last saturday, in the same manner, in the “safe zone”, at least 370 civilians were massacred by military shells and more than 1000 were injured. Soldiers were instructed to do this war crime.

    Sri Lankan state does not allow independent reporters into their “killing fields”. It started this ban also two years ago to blind the International Community(IC) and silence it from protests and action against Tamil genocide, yet information of brutal murders have been filtering out from these “killing fields” to the media.

    Mahinda and his government, having spilled abundant Tamil blood, fearing reprisals from the international judicial system, call the very truth as “LTTE propaganda” and not as crime committed by its soldiers.

    When Channel 4 in Britain recently reported factual documentary from the affected people in concentration camps run by the military, the government of Sri Lanka(GOSL) called it “LTTE propaganda”. When David Miliband was in Colombo, Mahinda Rajapakse called the neutral reports by BBC journalists also as “LTTE propaganda”.

    If LTTE is being “defeated” as the GOSL says, how could it become increasingly powerful in its propaganda?

    Psychologists call such false utterances as halucinations arising from a fearful or insane mind. Here, the insanity is caused by thirst for the blood of fellow human beings and fear is for the court in the Hague for the war crimes committed.

    Telling lies to propagate untruth and remain brutal has become a recent political culture in the region. Even neighbouring Mahatma Gandhian principled country said it did not provide military assistance to SL. But Ranil Wickremasinghe, the leader of the opposition in SL confirmed in an interview with the weekly “Time Now”, a few days ago, that India does provide military assistance.

    Has humanity become passive and permissive to genocide? Have we lost the ability to care for and protect fellow human beings? The Tamil civilian killer actions by the Sri Lankan state and inaction by the UN and IC for the past two years answer the questions affirmatively.

  • S.Sivanandan

    The Banyan tree in instances intertwines with the sacred Bo-tree like a boa constrictor and over shadows the sacredness and sanctity of the tree underneath, under which the Lord Gautama Buddha was enlightened,If his cardinal principles and percepts are adhered to the very letter in the resplendant Isle the irrational, international opinion polls are not needed to prop.

  • Realist

    I am afraid Mr Sivanandan is mistaken. Buddhism in Sri lanka was always a cultrual movement and had very little spirituality.I find very few Buddhists among the Sinhalese who either value the truth or respect the value of the UN Declaration. Lies, deception and treachery of the enemy is the traditional diplomacy of the Sinhalese rulers. I see the resembalance between the present regime’s practice of diplomacy and this traditional method. The British rulers here realized it but the UN and the rest of the International Communtiy unfortunately does not realize it yet.

  • Suresh

    I am so worry about my Tamil people who are effecting by (the biggest terrorist organization in the world) SL gov.I don’t want to express their name because there are so many killers in SL gov and sinhalese people.This genocide is not ony cocern with SL gov but also by sinhalese people.Sinhalese are encourgaging the genocide against Native ethnic Tamil people.It was proved by last history of the sl and lastest happening.Sinhalese people will be realized in one day when they and their country will suffered by economical depressed. now SL is poor country but after this war SRi lanka will be the poorest country in the world.PRABAKARAN will rule the tamil ELLAM Nation which will be the world leading developed country and strongest military.IN that day ,Sinhalese will be effected by war(economic war) and they will be homeless and nothing to eat . In that day they will be realized their mistakes.

  • all i know is sri lankan gav/dont wana let media in vavuniya camps