Guidance on Star Gazing: Government to set up Advisory Council for Astrologers?

Banyan News Reporters

Colombo, Sri Lanka - A special Advisory Council for Astrologers is to be established in the lead up to presidential elections to ensure “consistency” in astrological forecasts, claims a source from the Ministry of Indigenous Sciences speaking exclusively to Banyan News Reporters. The Ministry is expected to put forward a cabinet paper in the first week of January proposing the Advisory Council, which will play a supervisory role over all astrologers registered with the Ministry.

“This is aimed at improving astrological predictions and to prevent citizens from being abused and misled by untrustworthy astrologers” claimed a source from the Ministry of Indigenous Sciences. “Some unpatriotic astrologers do not give predictions based on their astrological calculations and just say what they think will please their clients. This is unscientific, unscrupulous and a violation of established cosmological principles” added the source.

The Advisory Council is expected to consist of seven leading astrologers who will oversee the readings of other astrologers. The Council will come up with a code of conduct for astrologers, similar in aim to the Hippocratic Oath. A special set of guidelines will be formulated for predictions on the fate of the country, political issues and the well-being of the President and his family. Astrologers are already required to register with the Ministry of Indigenous Sciences and under the proposed guidelines those engaged in political forecasts will have to apply for a separate registration. Furthermore, their forecasts will have to be forwarded to the Council for a review of accurate planetary alignments before it is submitted to a client.

“The Government is scared of the momentum which is favouring the Opposition in the coming elections” says leading member of Parliament Luvi Rathnayake. “The Government wants to prevent astrologers from forecasting an Opposition victory. This is a Government that first silenced the media, then NGOs, now they are coming for astrologers. Even this bogus registration of astrologers is a way of keeping tabs on the astrologers and our future.”

“The Government will appoint its stooges and ensure that the forecasts are favourable to it” Rathnayake went on to say. He pointed to the review of political forecasts by the Advisory Council members as a clear indication that the resulting readings will not be independent or astrologically accurate. “If at all this astrological Advisory Council should be brought under the Constitutional Council which the Government has failed to appoint in line with the 17th Amendment” added Rathnayake.

Earlier this year, a leading astrologer predicted that in two years time the opposition leader would occupy the most powerful position in the Government. This forecast received much media coverage and the astrologer found himself called in for questioning by the Police who suspected that the planets had been aligned in a partisan manner for this partial reading. The astrologer under interrogation re-cast his astrological chart and found out that he had made a ‘mistake’ and noted that the opposition leader would actually lose all power within his own party.

The Secretary of the Ministry of Indigenous Sciences, Dr Wijeya Weerasinha refused to comment on the rumours of an Advisory Council, but did indicate that there is support for such a proposal within the Ministry. “As the fiasco over that tuppahi astrologer shows we do need to ensure some basic standards to protect the rights of our citizens. And the timing is right for such a council given that it is silly season for astrologers It is the President’s vision of a prosperous future that some of these astrologers try to defile.”

However, when contacted by BNR, the Minister for Indigenous Sciences, Michaelge Kumarage denied that there were any plans for an advisory body from within the Ministry and stated that there is no official move in such a direction. He went on to say that the Ministry had not discussed any proposal and no document had been forwarded to the cabinet for approval. He vehemently denied that the Government would engage in such initiatives.

BNR contacted leading astrologer Muhetigama Wijerama who is seen to be close to the Government for comment. He stated “many of patriotic astrologers are in firm support of such a proposal that will protect national security. Sri Lanka is facing an international conspiracy that is working with traitorous groups within the country against the Government. We all know that the astrologers are one of the most important sectors in Sri Lankan society and are a vulnerable group. Who knows the LTTE may have even paid off one or two astrologers. We must be vigilant. ”

Sudesi Mahindapala, another popular astrologer who has a show on Raja Television (RTV) refused to comment on the alleged proposal but voiced concerns about the pressures faced by astrologers, “Astrology is such a trying and exact science. It has never been tainted by partisan politics, patronage or perfidy. Shouldn’t we let the stars be our ultimate guides?”

A number of leading astrologers were consulted by BNR to forecast our prosperous future, but none of them wanted to be quoted in public. While most privately noted the precarious position facing Jupiter’s transition into a new house, BNR can safely say that the rumours of an Advisory Council has made most astrologers nervous about making predictions on subjects deemed controversial.

  • Astrology Guru

    Kind Sirs @ BNR, may i humbly assume this advisory council will produce something like the “Yellow Journalism Blueprint” your esteemed organization produced to uphold and safeguard the values and ethics of yellow journalism? No pun intended. Honest :)

    On a serious note, i think this business of election astrology sucks. One should arrive at rational decisions based on past performance, trend analysis etc.. Nonethless i have very little to hope for (logically that is), so like you suggest i’m wishing stars will bring some luck…… And when we lose, let’s blame it on the stars !

  • dyno

    Baya wechcha tharamak!!

  • http://yahoo faizal

    this is really silly mate. can somebody or a govt. stoop so low as to have an authority to check the predictions of astrologers. hasn’t the govt. anything better to do? no wonder we are a bananna republic. just imagine if all the predictions go to this committee for evaluation. people will be dead and gone by the time this committee gives the green light for a particular prediction to be handed over to the person who wanted it in the first place. really, really silly mates.

  • Nimal

    Well said Fizal!
    Politicians that believe in this nonsense should not rule a country.They lack self confidence.

  • Jude Fernando

    Hello Banyans.

    Thank you for the Hilarious posting… I just could not help writing this. Just for fun…please

    Throughout history astrology has been used to determine if a king should go into war or if a country will have a financially successful year. If the astrologer was wrong, they would be killed or suffer some horrible punishment, either way their astrology career would be over. In 1556 Nostradamus so popular with the French ruling class, later he fell out of favor and was accused of witchcraft. John Dee was a famous astrologer and had as his most famous client Queen Elizabeth. So was Napoleon when his future looks bleak. Napoleon was a Leo.

    Many of the powerful characters in Shakespeare, who were surrogates for rulers’ during Elizabethan time, have plenty to do with astrology. (and provides good insights for today)

    The setting of the King Lear was in a time of remote antiquity where society is still quite barbaric and brutality was common. King Lear sinned knowingly and scoffed at the stars. Although Lear provided so many things to his family and supporters, but he could never rely on them. Prospero in Shakespeare’s The Tempest defied the stars and then used them to his benefit. Romeo believed the poison from the apothecary was the only thing that would “shake the yoke of inauspicious stars” from his “world-wearied flesh.” Anthony, in Julius Caesar, attributed his first defeat to the fact that the stars had forsaken him, blaming the moon’s eclipse for his ultimate fall. All these characteristics personify MR (I mean the Majestic Ruler)

    Especially, King Lear is about a king who mismanaged kingdom, where immorality, betrayal, civil strife and expectation of foreign intervention were omnipresent and the political landscape was beset by intrigue and domestic and foreign intruders. So he was drawn to astrology, ofcourse somewhat cynically.

    Following two scenes are pretty insightful.

    In the tragedy King Lear, astrology is used to even greater effect. Gloucester first raises the issue of astrology:

    Gloucester. These late eclipses in the sun and moon portend no good to us. Though the wisdom of nature can reason it thus and thus, yet nature finds itself scourg’d by the sequent effects. Love cools, friendship falls off, brothers divide. In cities, mutinies; in countries, discord; in palaces, treason; and the bond crack’d ‘twixt son and father. This villain of mine comes under the prediction; there’s son against father: the King falls from bias of nature; there’s father against child. We have seen the best of our time. Machinations, hollowness, treachery, and all ruinous disorders follow us disquietly to our graves. Find out this villain, Edmund; it shall lose thee nothing; do it carefully. And the noble and true-hearted Kent banish’d! his offence, honesty! ‘Tis strange.

    But Gloucester’s illegitimate son, Edmund, has a different take on astrology. He doesn’t believe in, understand, or respect astrology.

    Edmund. This is the excellent foppery of the world, that, when we are sick in fortune, often the surfeit of our own behaviour, we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars; as if we were villains on necessity; fools by heavenly compulsion; knaves, thieves, and treachers by spherical pre-dominance; drunkards, liars, and adulterers by an enforc’d obedience of planetary influence; and all that we are evil in, by a divine thrusting on. An admirable evasion of whore-master man, to lay his goatish disposition to the charge of a star! My father compounded with my mother under the Dragon’s Tail, and my nativity was under Ursa Major, so that it follows I am rough and lecherous. Fut! I should have been that I am, had the maidenliest star in the firmament twinkled on my bastardizing.

    Cheers
    Jude

  • wijayapala

    Faizal, Banyan News Reporters was joking.

  • Jude Fernando

    More from the past

    Caesar himself did not believe in astrology, but his successor, Augustus, did. He had coins printed with his astrological sign (Capricorn) on them, but had little involvement with astrologers for fear of public ridicule. Tiberius, Augustus’s successor, knew how to interpret horoscopes and kept Thrasyllus, an astrologer, as his advisor. Tiberius’ successor, Claudius, kept Thrasyllus’s son, Balbillus, as his astrologer. John Dee was a famous astrologer and had as his most famous client Queen Elizabeth. However, when he created a horoscope for Queen Mary’s half-sister, Princess Elizabeth, Dee was briefly imprisoned in 1555 for witchcraft and sorcery.

    Nancy Regan used Nancy Reagan used astrologer Joan Quigley to help plan the president’s schedule of activities. Wilhelm Theodor H. Wulff was a German astrologer was required to work on the Ahnenerbe project, project founded by Nazi’s like Heinrich Himmler, commander of the Schutzstaffel, also known as the SS. After Himmler defected Hitler ordered Gastapo arrest for misguiding Himmler. Many believe Karl Ernst Krafft was Hilters astrologer. Krafft too was arrested after Hess’ flight and he spent a year in prison.

  • Atheist

    Dear Banyanites:

    It is the talk in Vavunia that an astrologer has sent a mantra through a gentleman from Colombo. This is how the gentleman chanted it for the people’s enjoyment:

    Po da Mahinda po da!
    Po da Basil po da!
    Po da Rishad po da !

    Won’t it be a lucrative business if you distributed t-shirts with the above mantra imprinted!

  • Humanist

    The Minstry spokesman further added that all astrologers who fall foul of the new Advisory Council can expect the same treatment as currently meted out to unpatriotic and terrorist journalists. Meanwhile, a spokesman from the Prisons Department confirmed on condition of anonymity that new cells were being constructed to accomodate an increase in inmates.

  • Humanist

    The President of the Free Astrology Movement Handahange Subhaneketh called upon all independent astrologers in the country to protect the the ancient indigenous art of astrology by protesting against the establishment of the Advisory Council. Meanwhile, Chairperson of Astrologers without Borders, Lady Fortuna Crystalball, O.B.E. said that Sri Lankan astrologers were known the world over for their high professional standards and accurate predictions and that their organization condemns the suppression of their rights by the Sri Lankan government. The Minister of International Affairs vehemently denied that the Sri Lankan government was targeting astrologers or constructing new prison cells and said it was an international conspiracy to tarnish the image of the government. Astrology, he pointed out, was an indigenous art and had much to contribute to home grown solutions to Sri Lankan problems. He further added that there was strong evidence that some astrologers were receiving funds from terrorist organizations and that they would be dealt with through existing laws of the country.