The swift annihilation of the Tamil Tigers was a surprise to me. A war that was 30 years long, finished so quickly with an undignified death for the leader of the LTTE. Yet, so many unanswered questions.
The man on the street, people like myself, we’ll never know the whole truth. Some of us don’t care, terrorism, the LTTE were wiped out. That’s all that matters. We celebrated the great victory. In my corner of the stix in England, I celebrated the new sovereignty of my motherland, my country, my Paradise Island. My tears of joy like acid on their faces for the Tamil Diaspora.
It’s easy for me, for I don’t live there anymore. I am but the tourist who returns thrice a year. But I celebrate my roots, I celebrate that I am Sinhala Buddhist. I see beyond my birthright, but my eyes and ears remain closed.
The conflict within is clear. A world in recession, a world in decay where the poorer you are in terms of roots, connections and belonging, the more you suffer. The same in the Paradise Isle. Your ethnicity does not matter; it’s whom you know, where you’re from.
In the motherland, the ties to Russia, China and India are strengthened. A weird blast from the past. Bandaranayake socialism now called Mahinda Chintanaya. The President’s pro-labour and socialist history coming to light. One difference – there are no bread queues or people dying from food poisoning. People are dying in other ways, but that people die anyway is my self-justification.
Attention grabbing media headlines, pro and anti-government media. Who do I believe? I am never impartial for I still celebrate the sovereignty of the motherland. Does this make me a racist or a traitor?
Whenever I visit Sri Lanka, there is always new construction. Always something new happening. New places, new businesses and new roads. Roads that earmark economic prosperity.
A reporter killed, media silenced. Dissent severely disapproved. We are no longer a smiling, easygoing bunch of people. Are we now struggling to survive?
My motherland is governed by a dictatorship, for the greater good as some say. A justification for some, horribly wrong to some others.
I remain as always, confused. But unlike God Skanda who travels the world slaying demons, I travel to Sri Lanka at every opportunity for it’s the only place I truly belong.