At least three mornings, a week Samantha (my partner) and I go to a club in Colombo, a quiet private place for some exercise and a swim.  I enjoy this morning routine and use the back garden to stretch, jog and use the bars.  However, over the last two years this routine is disturbed by a battle that I have with a bunch of Crows who I presume are not happy about me entering their space.
It all began when one bird attacked me while I exercised. I then hit back with stones and shooed them away and thought it was sorted. Not so. The next morning was a shocker. As I entered the garden I felt a bad vibe in the air and sure enough there must have been over a hundred crows – they were waiting for me. They got into a noisy formation and dived at me. I have been in some major scrapes in my life with fellow humans, but this scared the hell out of me.  The gang leader looked mean, would sharpen its beak on the wire it was on and swoop down on me with others following. I saved myself from a major assault by running for cover under a roof. I reluctantly skipped my exercise routine and jumped in the pool in dismay, but the gang agitated the entire time I was there.
It took me a few days to get back to the club again so I thought the dust would have settled, but not at all. This time there were not so many, but they kept diving down at me in intervals, so I had to get aggressive. That morning I got my exercise shouting, running at them and throwing rocks to take control of my space.
Ever since then it has been a matter of me getting aggressive with any crow that entered my air space. I created a no fly zone for myself while I exercised. It became a part of my routine.
Reflection
While all this was happening I pondered on how things had got out hand and questioned myself as to whether I was contributing to this stress on both sides.  Samantha was quite amused at all this as she never got attacked. I was further perturbed as my work and general inquiry into life has been how to live in harmony with people and the world around me.  I teach these things and counsel people in the business world, but here I am at war with a bunch of crows.  Even though I attempted to compartmentalize the two – the crows and humans – deep down I knew I could not. We are all interconnected.  I realized this bad blood between us is my doing too and maybe I could change the situation.
One day, Samantha suggested that I call a truce – “Why don’t just leave them alone and do your thing”.  So, I took it to heart, minded my own business and left them alone. Not two minutes had passed when one dive bombed me and that was the end of the truce.
So, I went back to my old ways.  When I was in there, it was zero tolerance and I enforced the no fly zone even more vigorously with stones flying everywhere.
Yet, over time, my exercise routine has got tedious with this bother. I was beginning to not look forward to it anymore.  Something had to change.
Truce
So, one morning I thought I must call a real truce with the crows. As usual, when I entered the garden, the war cry started, I forgot all about the truce and I got back into my old routine easily to find rocks and young coconuts on the ground to clear the air space.  Over the last few days, I had also noticed that two aggressive crows did not get frightened away easily and kept coming back. Throwing rocks became tiring and I realized it took my time away from relaxing and exercising.  I may have exercised my body but mentally I was stressed. I had enough of all this aggression, so I made up my mind.
That was it. I faced the sun, stood straight and took a deep breath and exhaled concentrating on the center of my belly.  In exhaling I imagined my breath spiraling down to the core of the earth, inhaling I imagined it moving up to the sky, linking them through me, gaining the energy, giving me strength and confidence. I then focused on my head, heart and belly to ensure that they were aligned and meditated for a few seconds on my breath. Now I felt centered and balanced to act with the intent of making peace.
I learned this practice at the “Embodied Leadership through Conscious Embodiment” programme from Wendy Plamer, an Aikido teacher at the Shambhala Institute in Canada last year. I learned the huge potential we have in our mind and body with intent to change the way we feel and act, even in the most trying situation.
Feeling centered and skillful, I spoke out to the two gang leaders who were cackling from the wires above and told them in a soothing voice – “Hey guys, I have had enough of this, we are both agitated, there is a lot bad energy around and we both loose if we continue like this. Let us call it quits and leave each other alone”. Then I said a silent prayer wishing them well and happiness. My intentions were made clear. I actually felt a release – no more hatred, no more violence with the intent of hurting.
At the same time, I am aware that, I may yet get attacked, but I am going to think of those as exceptions, as it takes time to settle these things.  After all we do speak different languages, so there could be some misunderstandings. Nevertheless, I will not react, but keep showering love and compassion on them.  I must have spent another ten minutes there exercising and I did not notice the crows being there anymore.  Maybe this will work.  Why did I not do this earlier ?
Breath for Life
In going back to my breath, I went to the basic sustenance of my life. Breath is controlled by my Reptilian brain, in the same way this part of the brain prompts me to eat when I am hungry or drink water when I am thirsty. My reptilian brain also ensures that I breathe even as I asleep, so I take it for granted – it is all on auto pilot.
Also my ego is very much attached to this breath. Not paying attention to my breath unleashes my ego, as it gives me superficial confidence and strength.  This ego occurs automatically without me even knowing in my subconscious mind.  So, my attachment to possessions, my achievements, my reputation and notion of separateness from other beings and the world, are all driven by my ego.
Often egoistic reactions are childish and embarrassing because it promotes and protects ‘me’ and what is ‘mine’ at any cost. All this happens on auto-pilot, without me even being aware.  Letting my ego dominate I say, “How dare you crows attack me, the all important ME”.
Reptiles like snakes only have the reptilian part of the brain. So, when they are hungry, they eat whatever that is around, even their own. Luckily for us humans, we have another part developed called the Limbic brain, which gives us emotions.  This way when we are hungry we don’t eat our own. When I pay attention to my breath, I prompt my limbic brain into action, so the emotion activate my moral compass, makes me aware of my values and ethics in the way I live. Focus on my breath helps this self inquiry and ebbs away my fears and the ego slowly dissolves. The limbic brain allows the power of my intention to manifest.
When I reflected, I realized my behavior with the crows was egotistical and went against the values that I live by – respect other beings.  So I centered with my values consciously with the intent of not going to battle with them anymore.  I realize that this intention cannot be accessed through my ego. I have to become aware, let go of my ego and become humble, so I forgive and forget for a new beginning.
So, what is the moral of this?
There was a great lesson for me in this battle with the crows – How we forget our values and good intentions when we are under threat and how revenge becomes the preoccupation.  As I look around Sri Lanka today, be it in homes, in schools, sports fields, in workplaces, in private clubs, on the roads and in the political arena, the ego dominates and battles rage. The reaction is so primitive and childish. This is reptilian and destructive.
I certainly recognize this in myself now with more awareness. Only through mindfulness and reflection do I catch myself reacting to situations before it goes the easy route of retaliation and revenge.
Stop and Reflect
If you have read up to this point, let us stop and reflect.
Put a mirror on yourself. Think about a difficult relationship you have at home, at work, at the club. Try to focus on the emotion that arises when you see or hear the person speak. Is it anger or an annoyance and does it give you stress ?
Now think about the fact that this anger is actually your own response and you do have control over it. Remember, you have a limbic brain, unlike reptiles. Becoming aware of your breath activates it. Then focus and meditate on it and see your ego fall away.  This will take the edge out of your bad energy.  Then it is up to the other person.
All this sounds easy, but it is not. It takes concentration, persistence and patience. Patience as the other person may not be ready to forgive and forget. Yet, you have broken the cycle of negative energy.  That has come with your good intentions and you have taken control of your mind.  Now you can be skillful, even if you have to defend yourself – and sometimes, you may be compelled to attack in defense – but you will be in control.
A Durable Peace
I have gone back to my exercise place twice after I changed my reaction to the crows and I am determined to keep my peace. As I walk into the area, few yet get agitated and begin to scream.  It does unnerve me, but I have a choice. I could pick up a rock again or take a few deep breaths, exhale, center myself, say a few soothing words and carry on in peace. I am taking the second and the not so easy option resulting in much less stress for everyone.
If they want to be aggressive, it is not my problem anymore.  They cackle for a little bit and move on leaving me in peace. The bad energy has dissipated and there is peace within me.   It always takes two to tangle ………..so go on take a deep breath…