Photo courtesy The Daily Beast

The news from the Uva side is not good. The vote base of Our Majesty’s government is doing a Jack and Jill – tumbling down the hillside. This is causing much worry to very common people like myself. What is going to be happening if the votes are continuing to be tumbling down? Already my wife who is very common woman, is in funeral mode. Every five minutes she is looking at Our Majesty’s photo on the wall and crying. I am asking why you crying like Our Majesty is dead? He is still very much alive and kicking the imperialists and traitors and my wife is saying yes, yes very true but how long before he is getting the kick?

Some peoples are saying nothing to worry.  In the presidential election it is nothing but personality that is counting and Our Majesty has the radiant personality that is enough to be conquering the Ranil and the Anura and the Fonseka all put together. They are talking about the cup of tea test. Who are you wanting be having the cup of tea with? Our Majesty or the Ranil? Surely Our Majesty? But I am thinking this is very silly question. Our peoples will be having the cup of tea with anybody if the cup of tea is free and coming with a lot of sugar. Even people who are not usually drinking the tea will be having it with milk and fifteen sugars if it is coming free. If it is free I myself will  even be having the poison – without sugar.

This is also exactly why it is difficult to be winning in the Uva side with the thumping majority. People are untrustworthy. They are getting so many free things from Our Majesty’s government : sewing machines, bicycles, tricycles, motor bicycles, and then going and voting for the Harin. It is like the cup of tea. If getting free will take and drink but no guarantee they are liking the giver. It is the same with giving the sewing machine and bicycle and tricycle.

If Our Majesty is wanting to be winning the next election he must be thinking of changing this habit before everything else. So, like the Lenin, I am asking, what is to be done? Answer is simple. Do not be giving anything unless sure of vote. Anybody hearing of dog getting treat before showing trick? This is how we must be looking at it. Government already treating people like dogs in many things, so why not with the balloting also? I am saying, give them free sewing machine or even the washing machine but only after they are showing they are voting for the government.

How to be doing this you are asking? Again, simple. We must be changing the election process. The problem with the voting is it is too secret. Nobody knowing who somebody is voting for.  This is why it is difficult to be knowing if the people getting the machines are actually voting for the people giving the machines. We must be changing this so that we can be knowing who somebody is voting for. Everything else in the country is so open and transparent. Ministers and their friends are openly breaking the election laws and it is transparent that they are lying when they are saying that they are not. So why only the secrecy with the balloting?

This is not difficult to be changing, I am telling you.  On the morning of the election the government can be sending  around people like the Samurdhi fellows or even young men and boys from the Blue brigade to the houses of the voting peoples and giving them the voting card and asking them to be voting on the spot. ( The opposition parties do not need to be coming along. This is fully funded government operation. The opposition can also be doing this but only if it is coming to power). And when the voting is done the Samurdhi fellows and Blue boys  can be writing down who this person or that person is voting for so that the government can be knowing who to be giving the sewing machine and the tricycles. This way the government can be sure that the tricycles and machines and other things are going into the right hands and the people who are getting them are doing the right things. It is very transparent system.

When we are doing this there is no need for anybody to be going around grabbing the voting card on the voting day and causing trouble to the people or for the election monitors. The Samurdhi fellows and the Blue Brigade boys will be doing the grabbing and monitoring themselves.  This is going to be novel and very revolutionary system, excellent example in transparency and guaranteed vote getter. Other countries, especially our friendly countries in the Africa can be copying us and having very transparent elections. Even the Western imperialists are welcome to be copying us but I am not thinking they are having the guts.

  • Fitzpatrick

    Ha ha very funny !

    I especially liked this part…

    Some peoples are saying nothing to worry. In the presidential election it is nothing but personality that is counting and Our Majesty has the radiant personality that is enough to be conquering the Ranil and the Anura and the Fonseka all put together. They are talking about the cup of tea test. Who are you wanting be having the cup of tea with? Our Majesty or the Ranil? Surely Our Majesty? But I am thinking this is very silly question. Our peoples will be having the cup of tea with anybody if the cup of tea is free and coming with a lot of sugar. Even people who are not usually drinking the tea will be having it with milk and fifteen sugars if it is coming free. If it is free I myself will even be having the poison – without sugar.

    I know of only one who was talking about having a beer in the USA (for American presidential elections) and tea in Sri Lanka.

  • liar

    Our Majesty is too cunning and treacherous. After getting the votes for free, He will forget about the promise of a sewing machine or bicycle. Remember he has been duping the Indian Govt. for the last so many years on the 13 , 13+, 13++ so on for the last so many years!!!