Colombo, Elections, Fiction / Creative Writing, Peace and Conflict, Politics and Governance, Satire

Open letter to the President of Sri Lanka

January 28, 2010

Dear Mr. President,

Congratulations on your land slide victory which, like most Colombo elites, I was stunned by. Your spokesperson Dr R Wijesinghe quite rightly described us as shallow and lacking foresight and the common touch unlike the rural polity who rightly judged your true capability and potential based purely on your good governance and not by manipulation through crafty and cut throat state propaganda. We eagerly look forward to another six or maybe eight? years of glorious Mahinda Chinthanaya. We have full confidence in your wise and just governance which you have so clearly displayed during the past four years. Yes, you narrowly missed a foul coup plotted by your adversary which would have destroyed you and your entire family as well as your extended family and even certain key public officials who have proved their worth as eminent and honest advisors to your rule.  Even post election, the truth needs to be shown on national television via stories depicting his decadent life style and ruthless behaviour comparable to no less than Gen. Idi Amin. In contrast, your impeccable life style is beyond question with not even a whiff of suspicion concerning unfounded allegations of contracting with the underworld for elimination of dissent and opposition. Moreover, even your large coterie of ministers has displayed unbelievable restraint and dignity despite being subject to constant harassment by the independent media on false allegations of corruption, waste and mis-governance. We look forward to you and your illustrious cabinet of ministers’ brave and continued direction in guiding  the destinies of this nation on the correct path of development.

We know that your colossal infrastructure development programs of sea and air ports and road networks will serve the country well, particularly as they are so strategically located in the south to meet the expanding needs of a new capital city envisaged in Hambantota which undoubtedly is the ideal choice of location from all aspects, particularly, being your place of birth and closest  to your heart. It is obvious to anyone that these are definitely not prestige projects which serve to line the pockets of the political elite but critical to the development of our economy. It is definitely a national priority that we have, at least, two airports and sea ports and a new capital city built on cutting edge technology as it will surely help in alleviating the urgent and nagging problem of poverty and malnutrition that plagues the majority of our people. Your partners in development such as China, Iran and Libya can help you show the western world that we do not have to extend the begging bowl to them. Despite competing with us on global markets, these newly emerging economies have unhesitatingly come to our assistance in a true display of brother hood for which we must salute them. They will definitely stand by us unlike the short lived promises of our former colonial masters and their ‘running dogs’ who threaten us with revocation of trade privileges on allegations of mis governance and other unfounded crimes instigated purely by jealousy and envy of our successful elimination of terrorism.

The international conspiracy against your regime is shocking with the most powerful nations  taking the lead in accusing your regime of war crimes, human rights abuses, rigging of elections and a whole host of baseless accusations. It is a disgrace to conspire in such a manner to crush our proud and great sinhala buddhist civilization which has stood the test of time and proved beyond doubt the purity, gentleness and integrity of our culture.

Unfortunately, the ungrateful minorities have dug their own graves by not voting for you despite all your efforts to learn their language and extend the olive branch of friendship. Their disloyalty and deception can only be tackled by the iron hand of your brother who has proved beyond doubt that he can crush terrorism with no hope of resurrection. We salute him and wish him continued success far into the future as the conduct of the minorities indicates that they can never be trusted as patriots. Despite this, you have so graciously hailed their participation in the election process which only serves to highlight your superior qualities of statesmanship. I feel we must not negotiate with them as they do not deserve any concessions whatsoever. I suggest that you leave them to languish in their own soup. Never mind the threats of the diaspora who claim to have the backing of the superpowers, as we have the most competent army in the world that can defeat the vilest enemy.

Your victorious nomination for a second term  was gained without the slightest indication of corruption or abuse of power. The state media was never flagrantly exploited by your government for election propaganda despite constant provocation by the independent media backed by evil forces, both local and foreign, out to sully your regime’s  integrity. As always, you have stood tall and acted with restraint like a true statesmen. We commend you for rising above the inferior behavior of your adversaries.

You are truly our lord and savior! We wish you many more years of benevolent kingship which will help our country blossom into a great and powerful nation which can defeat the evil forces, both local and foreign, threatening to bring down our nation for what reason we cannot imagine!

Yours in service

A True Patriot