Dial a White Van for a pest-free life!
Baynan News Commercial
Dial a White Van for a pest-free life!
Coldline: 0666 911 911
Have you just been outsmarted, outwitted or plain debunked by a smart alec academic?
Or is that nosy journalist probing your ministry, department or company seriously threatening your nest egg project or retirement plan?
Or you simply can’t stand the sight of your neighbour (or colleague, or batchmate) doing better than you in life?
Don’t just sulk there – do something!
Just tell us your worries and let us take care of it all. Try our fully air-conditioned, ISO-certified, state award-winning pest control service.
Once available exclusively to VIPs, we have just expanded to serve the whole nation.
We offer several packages:
- White Van Light: Just abduct, rough up, threaten and return home – with tongue firmly tied. No blood spilled.
- White Van Medium: All the above – plus 5 fingernails (you get to choose) and ransom extracted.
- White Van Ultimate: No trace, no questions, no more pests in your life!
Home pick up and delivery options negotiable for White Van Light and White Van Medium packages.
Sleep well tonight. Awake to a life free of bugs.
Call 0666 911 911 for rates and details.
White van solution for a nation green with envy or red with rage!
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This is pretty sad and unfunny. And I don’t mean because it’s making light of serious things, but because it is a particularly pathetic example of that clumsy Sri Lankan practice of passing off the clumsiest political propaganda imaginable as humour, parody or satire, to the point -if you could measure these things- you would find that across the Sri Lankan blogosphere, parody and self-parody now outweighs sincerity.
Brilliant!
First class! Superb stuff!! I mean the humour, not the service…!
Thank you so much for the advert. I have some pests in my vicinity I would like to be rid of.
Love it! Sad yes but then I think satire manages to keep going when all else fails.
the webliink for whitevansolutions.com- awesome!!
In this Land Like No Other, we find other unique services too.
For a start, there is a strange-rains-on-call service, where skies can rain absolute hell fire especially over the jungles of Vanni, right on cue from Colombo or Katunayake or Anuradhapura.
Then there’s the national laundry service operating from near the Beira Lake and next to the Independence Square, where no stain (mud or blood) is too strong to be cleaned overnight!
How about the budget airline which frequently has no aircraft, and only thing budget about it is that it raids the national budget every year.
The list can go on. But you get the idea!
Have I got a contract for you. I want the thrid option implemented on all Sri Lankan politicians; all colours please. Name your price. I am sure the majority of Sri Lankans will contribute to make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.
read Sinhala? like political satire? find a Ravaya last week issue, read the story for Kafka and cockroach, courageous, dangerous and hilarious !
I hear that you guys discrimate on ethnic grounds….is that true?
Can the white vans be hired to get rid of the anonymous cowardly vermin that threatened Dr Saravanamuttu? If the white vans have the required sophisticated equipment, to locate the said vermin, as Entrepot indicated, the coffers of “Dial” can be swelled to brim.
This nation requires a massive extermination programme – of the rotten vermin in the South. Probably a full fumigation of the crevices and corners where political roaches, centipedes, and scorpions lurk.
We need a solution to this menace. Can Dial-a-white-van help please?